In loving memory of…

Familiarity does indeed breed contempt. When you live so long with another person, even someone that you deeply love, you begin to see only the faults. So often, especially when we’re young and have time to spend with people we like, we tend to do too much of it. Conversation begins to trickle down to hardly anything and there isn’t much left to discover in each other. Especially when you’re thrown into such close proximity that your lives begin to entwine themselves into each other and turn into a seething mass of emotions that normally would barely get a second glance but with such intimacy, turn into pressing issues that can’t be ignored. And then you forget why you liked them to start with… all the good things that made you love them seem inconsequential suddenly, and all you want is to run as far away as possible but you don’t think you can leave them behind.

So, you leave the compliments unsaid – they already know you love them, right? Or they wouldn’t be so involved in your life. You forget to mention that they look pretty today, or that their work was appreciated. Because you know there’ll be another day, another time… perhaps when they’re less annoying?

And that day fades into nothing. Again, the process of forgetting the good. Humanity has a wonderful way of completely overlooking the positive as commonplace and harping on the negative. And we’re all human. So many times, I meant to say ‘I love you’ or ‘I like the way you’re looking’ or anything at all… Say something.

Apparently that was my grandmother’s advice to my mom – give completely and don’t expect anything in return. Don’t let pride stop you from giving. And one day, when you need it, it’ll wash over your soul. Her last coherent action, the day before she passed away was to pull us all together – my parents, my brother and me – and the look on her face as she saw us all will stay with me as long as I can hold on to it, protecting it from Memory’s wily reach.


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