Blue October.

It is always that you give. Your thoughts, your ideas, your possessions and sometimes even a bit of your soul. And these things that you value above all else, you give less generously of. Afraid to lose your identity, you barely give at all… closing up into a little shell of bravado, pride and confused emotions. You tie yourself into knots over the smallest of things until the larger picture eludes you completely and you get caught up in the everyday pettiness and the squabbles that never matter.

Soon, days are spent worrying about the thoughts and identity of others. Everything is smeared with the dirty, soiled fingers of memory that insidiously twists reality into little more than a fairy-tale. The non-existent line between existence and perception gives up altogether and heads home.

And then, the stories begin. You hear of your life from the other side and everything that is set in stone has crumbled to dust and left you in the ashes, wondering where the rest of reality went.

This constant rebirth of belief and relationships; the altering dynamics of your interaction with the world around you, has it ever caused you to pause for a second? Or do you flit from one belief to another as soon as the social winds alter their direction? When did you decide to give up all claims to independent thought and begin to exist purely as a product of your immediate universe?

You’d think that an intelligent person would have more brains.


About this entry