Tired and cranky.

forgive me for the very angsty, hurt post that’s about to follow but one does need to vent now and then.

I’m just so fucking tired of always questioning myself when it comes to relationships. My immediate reaction to something going wrong is to blame myself and analyse every action of mine till I feel like complete, utter crap. For once I’m going to just stop and not think like that.

If people who are supposed to be closer to me than family won’t even bother finding out what’s wrong then I guess it just isn’t worth bothering to try and explain. Especially when everything I say is being judged and classified and used as proof of my so-called weird behaviour. These are the people that I’ve lived with and trusted more than anyone my entire life and if they can’t accept the person I am, then fuck it.

I guess I am messed up or whatever, but the least you guys could do is try and help my figure myself out instead of throwing me aside the minute I seemed even a little different from you.

I’m just tired of constantly checking if I’m right or wrong or even if it matters. So either you tell me where I stand or let me go so I can figure myself out on my own.

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