Just a mirror for the sun
scribbles about a commonplace existence.Archive for October, 2008
Stop and stare.
Though I haven’t really been here, writing for my imaginary fan following, I have started a million blogs in my head while I’m out somewhere among the millions of people that fill this city to the brim. It is usually the transport that causes this rambling in my head, apparently I can’t sit quietly for more than two minutes at a time. However, I have nothing of importance to say so I try not to say it. My life seems to be only about running from boredom. And lately, I’ve managed to fail at this task… and fail miserably. I suppose this is marginally affected by the fact that it’s Deepavali and festivals in general depress me, this one in particular. It makes no sense, but somehow all I seem to be able to do around this time is sit in a corner and be angry and weepy which is very, very irritating to everyone, specifically me. And then I worry that I’m one of those stories where the kid had everything and didn’t realise how good she had it until she had a horrible accident and could never do all the things that she had planned. And then I worry that I worry too much. Yes, I am crazy.
And this is how i don’t do anything constructive like study for the exam that I have to go write in less than 12 hours. Yippee.
Underwear goes inside the pants.
Wow. My sheer stupidity of over a decade is simply freakin stupendous. Such extreme masochism requires some form of extreme therapy, really. Why do I do this? Every single damn situation in my life. It’s so cliche yet the more things change the more the stay the same. You think I would have grown out of this crap by now. Someone fucking shoot me. I will never fucking learn. I give up whining about it, about him, about everybody. It doesn’t matter who it is anymore, if they’re anything like the previous I will just repeat this awful behaviour over and over and then whine about the awful fucktardation of men.
This is also what I get for messing around with stuff that I KNOW has no future. Bah, stupid men… stupid life. I shall go admit myself in a mental hospital now. As usual, the only reason I write is when I’m too irritated to talk which immediately makes me wonderfully less eloquent. Yippee, the little ironies of life. Also, friends are stupid. College applications are giving me heart attacks. And everyone I know is stupid. Especially me. wonderful. Not looking forward to the near future.
…Everyone must die.
The end.
Fuck That Shit